The Silly and The Sublime: Home Security Systems

Gone are the days of leaving your front door open as you cart down to the local baker’s. Urban living has caused the more cautious of us to find ways to ensure safety and peace of mind.

Some make sense and others seem like the security measures Josef Stalin might take. We’ll let you decide what to think.

Security Alarm

This is your bog standard form of security. Most houses have them. And most of them seem to go off when nothing actually happens and when you have to be up for work early. 


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Guard Dog

Still fairly common but got a bit more panache. Activated by shouting the term ”sick”.

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Dummy CCTV’s

For the pranksters amongst us. Make the burglars think that you can see them. Cheeky.

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Robotic Security Lights

They sound a lot cooler than they probably are. They just flick on when someone walks by really. But they work, and make sneaking thieves feel like they’re on stage at Broadway.

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Retina Eye Scanner

Getting a bit more upmarket now. Cons: They’re pricey. Pros: You look cool and you don’t have carry keys with you.

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Personal Security Team

You can get these guys 24/7 if needs be. Especially useful if you want to look way more important than you actually are; why not bring them to an interview? Again, activated by the term “sick”.

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Panic Room

Made famous by David Fincher’s film of the same name, these devices are very real and are quite popular. Unfortunately, most don’t come equipped with Jodie Foster.

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The Moat

Sometimes the oldest designs are still the best. No burglar in their right mind would swim to rob a house. Requires a fair bit of space around your lot but looks the prettiest don’t you think? Doubles as a pool too. 

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